"Kindle a passion in her heart with your magic stick"

"monster phallus for Sheryl"

aside from the obvious offense, who the hell is Sheryl??!

"May i ask why you're so unhappy with your dic'k?"

Thank you for your decorum.

"Don't you know that girls yearn for big schlongs?"

Sheesh, who didn't?

"Sail Down the Love Canal More Confidently."

Don't be afraid...

"Don't be afraid to take your pants off in her bedroom."

I'm not even sure I need to follow that up with any commentary.

Mr. Winkie

Today's winner from my inbox: "Does your Mr. Winkie need upgrading? Our offer will interest you."

Imagine the potential client who reads this and thinks, "Hmmm...as a matter of fact, my Mr. Winkie does need upgrading..."